When a college freshman received a C- on her first test, she literally had a “meltdown” while in class. She texted her mother who called back, demanding to talk to the professor immediately (he, of course, declined). Another mother accompanied her child on a job interview, then wondered why he didn’t get the job. A major employer reported that during a job interview, a potential employee told him that she would have his job within 18 months. It didn’t even occur to her that he had worked 20 years to achieve his goal. Does this sound like a sitcom? It’s not. These are all true accounts of what is wrong with people today aged 16-24. They have been conditioned by parents that made them superstars without having to ever work for it, socially, intellectually, ethically or psychologically. Welcome to the Me, Me, Me Generation.
What Happened? We’ve told our kids to dream big-and now any small act seems insignificant. In the great scheme of this, kids can’t instantly change the world and we currently live in a world of instant gratification. They have to take small, first steps which seem like no progress at all to them. Nothing short of instant fame is good enough. We need to return to telling them that great things start by accomplishing small goals.
We’ve told our kids that they are special for no reason, even though they didn’t display excellent characteristics or skill, and now they demand special treatment. The problem is that kids assumed they didn’t have to do anything special in order to be special. We gave our kids every comfort and now they can’t delay gratification. We heard the message loud and clear. We too pace in front of the microwave, become angry when things don’t go our way at work or during traffic. Now it’s time to relay the importance of waiting for the things we want, deferring to the wishes of others and surrendering personal desires in the pursuit of something bigger than “me.” We made our kid’s happiness a central goal and now it’s difficult for them to generate happiness on their own, by living a meaningful life. It’s time we tell them that our goal is to enable them to discover their gifts, passions and purposes in life so they can help others. True happiness comes as a result.
The Uncomfortable Solutions: We need to let our kids fail at 12 which is far better than at 42. We need to tell them the truth (with grace) that the notion of “you can do anything you want” is not necessarily true. Kids need to align their dreams with their gifts. Every girl with a lovely voice won’t sing at the Met; every Little League baseball star won’t play for the major leagues. Allow them to get in trouble and accept the consequences. It’s okay to make a C-. Next time, they’ll try and work harder to make an A. Balance autonomy with responsibility. If your son borrows the car, he also has to re-fill the tank. Collaborate with the teacher, but don’t do the work for your child. If he fails at a test, let him take the consequences. Become velvet bricks, be soft on the outside and hard on the inside and allow children to fail while they are young in order to succeed when they are adults.
These well-intentioned messages of “you’re special” have come back to haunt us. We are consumed with protecting our children instead of preparing them for them future. We haven’t let them fall, fail or fear. The problem is that if they don’t take risks early on like climbing monkey bars and possibly falling off, they are fearful of every new endeavor at age 29.
Psychologists and psychiatrists are seeing more and more young people having “quarter-life crisis” and more cases of clinical depression. Why? According to the younger people, because they haven’t made their first million dollars or found the “perfect mate!”
The Me, Me, Me Generation have short attention spans and rely on external fulfillment rather than internal motivation. Therefore they have lost a great deal of potential creativity and self-reliance.
Perhaps the most crucial loss for youth today is the ability and confidence to effectively communicate personally with each other and others in general. IPads, IPhones, Twitter, Instagram, texting and all the other social media outlets available today have created a generation of socially-deficient youth and young adults replacing human relationships with electronic contact.
America, our children need us to get back to basics, and they need it NOW. We need to shift that need for immediate gratification into earned rewards for a job well-done from efforts, sacrifice and appreciation. The days of a “free ride” from mom and dad need to cease and we need to become parents again.
Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death speaks to this breakdown of self-reliance and the ever-growing sense of entitlement the younger generation of America has come to know and, well, depend on. This is not real-life, and we are raising less than real people. This topic and much more are discussed in length in Socialcide, as well as how we can turn around the epidemic of narcissistic behaviors of many people in our world today.
Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death will be available on November 2nd. You can purchase it at:
- FaithBooksand More.com
Or via my website: www.Socialcideinfo.com
It’s September 11th, thirteen years after America was blasted into a sea of fear, uncertainty, disarray, and despair. We had no idea what was happening or why, and all feared for ourselves and family.
It was a gorgeous day with a clear sky and perfect temperature here in the NJ-NY area. Many of us heard about a “plane crashing” into one of the World Trade Center Towers. We felt concern, but thought a small or private plane must have went off course. That has happened before at the Empire State Building. Then we heard about the second plane hitting the other tower. THAT was the moment we went into panic and shock mode. “What is going on???? We are under attack!” Our minds went immediately into fear mode. This was no little Cessna off course, this was DANGER.
Most immediately thought of our families and friends and their well-being, especially if we had loved ones who worked in New York City. “Where are they? Are they okay?” Then our Pentagon was hit. “These attacks are everywhere” we thought, and no one was safe! Phone service went silent in the NY-NJ area, the news reports were frightening! Then it hit us, TERRORISTS have attacked us on our homeland! Life as we knew it would never be the same.
Pearl Harbor was equally as devastating, but most of us here for 9/11 were not here when that attack occurred. We had no reference point of fear or experience. We fell into a state of numbness and helplessness. WHO WOULD HELP US NOW?!
Fire Departments, Police Departments and EMTs bravely went into the disaster areas to do what they do best, save lives, make order, reassure and HELP however possible. What a job they had! No one had signed up for such a catastrophe nor were any ever prepared for something as atrocious as this! Blindly, they did their best to do their job. Thousands died, suffered and even today suffer from the devastation of evil. Families have lost loved ones, and men and women are still experiencing health and emotional problems from this unthinkable attack on American soil.
At the time, I was a Director of a Supported Employment Program. I heard about the first plane hitting the World Trade Center on my ride to a supervisors’ meeting. I must admit, I was not stunned. I was sad that what I thought was a small plane hitting the World Trade Center was awful, but I was able to go to the meeting, then to my office and be with my staff of about twelve. When we heard the news of the second plane, I had to make a decision. My staff as well as me, were numb. I called into our Executive Director as to what our agency was to do, and was told to “keep working.”
A “Supported Employment” program is one that helps people with mental illness get and keep jobs. I was not comfortable with having clients come to our office, nor did I want my staff going on the road to see how clients were doing on their jobs, and as for me, I was worried to death about my family and my animals! Certainly no time to think about work! Against “executive orders,” I closed up our department and sent everyone home.
I did not get in any trouble for closing up shop, but I wasn’t really concerned about it at the time, as I am certain no one in America would have been either. Safety and protection of family I am sure came first to EVERYONE.
Enter the First Responders! I am certain they and their families were concerned about each other too! But they had to go into the Flames of Hell as their job required! Bravely they did with no proper training, bad equipment and a desire to save lives! Many were successful, but many were not and perished in their quest to “do their jobs.” How can we ever thank them? There is no reward, there is no “glory,” just BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN who did what many of us would never do!
The very least we can do is honor their braveness, and never forget their courage for doing their job and trying to help people and save lives on that dreadful, disgusting day! Without them, we would have lost MANY MANY MORE! Their lives saved many! We need to NEVER FORGET them nor the day America was raped by the EVIL of TERRORISTS!
Many people know that I have been working on the release of a new book over the past year and then some. The title of this book is “Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death.” Socialcide is a term I have registered as a trademark to describe what I believe is happening to America today. In other words, like “suicide,” we are killing ourselves as a SOCIETY by becoming more and more self-absorbed, narcissistic, uncaring, rude, and abandoning all the “rules” both written and unwritten we have used over the course of the past 200 plus years to build ourselves into a great nation. A great nation that is currently in a state of disrepair so broken and morally bankrupt that we may never get ourselves out of it, but only get worse. Hence, Socialcide.
The message of Socialcide is a presented in a way that perhaps has never been done before. At least I would like to believe so. As I searched through the news reports today that seemingly get either more horrific or more moronic, I was trying very hard to find a common denominator that MAY explain this plague. As a clinical therapist, my first instinct was to lean to psychology. What is going on in our country today that is making people so self-centered and misinformed. (That’s a nice way of avoiding the clinical term of dumb).
The news stories kept pouring in of school killings, child abductions and murders, cheating, etc., and the excuses were becoming as pointless as an ice cube in the desert. There were no excuses to be found. Try as psychology might, their explanations left little to grasp and more to leave one thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding!” There has to be more to this! And there is.
In writing Socialcide, I have crossed lines of what many may believe are “political correctness,” and ethical boundaries in my professional field of psychology. Why? Why risk my reputation and career? I’ve said from the inception of my moment of epiphany I received divinely, that people will either think I’m a lunatic or spot-on after reading Socialcide! I did what I did because someone had to do it, and that someone was me.
In securing a publishing contract back in January of 2013, and submitting the final manuscript to this publisher in June of 2014, all wheels were in motion for a long awaited release, or so I thought. Sometime in July 2014, a lot of back and forth technical communications went between me and the publisher. “Dot this I, reduce this paragraph…” that sort of thing. Then I received a call from this publisher, someone in their editing department who had nothing but praise for Socialcide, and went on to even say, “People need to read this book! It MUST be published!” I am on Cloud 9 at this point. She wanted to do what is called a line-by-line edit which would make the book SHINE! And, as she told me, the editors they use are “The same ones the TOP OF THE LINE PUBLISHERS use. I agreed to this immediately, why not?!
A few weeks went by, so I called this publisher to check on the book’s status. I was told the book would not be published and was “terminated” by this publisher. Huh?!?!?! Why didn’t someone notify me? No answer. Why is it being “terminated” after all the fanfare you gave it? No answer, none, zero, zilch, NADA! Something stinks here.
To make a long story short, I can only believe that this book was too much of a “risk” for them to print. Someone in their food chain read it, and wanted nothing to do with the truth it unfolds. Is it anti-media? Is it anti-God? Is it anti-America? I won’t answer that question here. I would hope readers would buy it and find out for themselves why the “Big Guys” were afraid to associate themselves with this work. Good riddance to these people anyway.
IMMEDIATELY after this occurrence a very unlikely set of circumstances led me to a new publisher. It is no coincidence in my mind, and things like this, especially in the word of writing and publishing do not “just happen.” I thought I’d be pitching Socialcide for another 10 years looking for a deal. But oh no! The new publisher arrived like a lighthouse on a stormy sea and took on Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death!
I guess the first publisher was right about two things: “This book needs to be published,” and “People need to read it.” The message is clear and Socialcide should be available for purchase in early October!
What causes anxiety in one person may not cause anxious feelings in another. A variety of external, environmental, genetic, and brain chemistry factors contribute to a person’s propensity to experience anxiety symptoms. Experiencing anxiety during a divorce, before a public performance, or giving a speech is normal, but some people tend to feel anxious about these events and other challenges more intensely than the typical person. Some even haveanxiety attacks. Experts believe that these people may have a genetic predisposition toward anxiety, or perhaps have learned to feel anxious from a parent or other caregiver.
Of course, there’s also those “nervous nellies” who are simply prone to worry. Maybe you know someone who likes to talk about and worry about the worst possible outcomes. This person’s life isn’t adversely affected by his or her focus on the macabre or doom and gloom – they simply seem to get some sort of enjoyment out of it. While environmental and other factors may contribute to the behavior of nervous nellies, these people tend to view anxiety, and talking about worries, in the same way those who enjoy gossiping view participating in talking about others flaws and activities — enjoyable.
Environmental Factors as an Anxiety Cause
Environmental factors represent a major cause of anxiety for everyone – not just those prone to worry. Several environmental challenges and experiences contribute to anxiety:
- Death of a loved one
- Physical or emotional abuse
- Work stresses
- School stresses
- Stress surrounding financial burdens and money
- Natural disaster
- Public performance
- Giving a speech
- Fear of illness
- Stress in a personal friendship or family relationship
Medical Factors as an Anxiety Cause
Certain medical conditions and the stress associated with them have long been a known anxiety cause. Some medical conditions that may cause anxiety include:
- Serious medical problem or illness
- Medication side effects
- Medical illness symptoms (some physical illnesses include anxiety as a symptom)
- Lack of oxygen caused by a medical condition, such as emphysema or a blood clot in the lung (pulmonary embolism).
Substance Abuse as an Anxiety Cause
Illicit drug use represents a major cause of anxiety. Using cocaine or illegal amphetamines can cause anxious feelings as can withdrawal from certain prescription drugs like benzodiazepines, oxycodone, barbiturates, and others.
Anxiety and Genetics
Strong evidence exists linking anxiety and genetics. In other words, children with at least one anxious parent, or other first degree relative with anxiety, tend to develop an inclination for it as well. Some studies indicate that people with abnormal levels of certain brain neurotransmitters may have a higher tendency to experience anxiety. When the neurotransmitter levels are not normal, the brain may react inappropriately at times, causing anxiety.
Become Familiar With What Causes Anxiety in You
The first step to controlling fear and worry is learning what causes anxiety in you specifically. Even if genetics predisposes you to feel anxious, external and environmental factors, such as medical conditions, substance abuse, or divorce and financial problems, can exacerbate your anxiety. Once you know what triggers your anxiety, you can then take steps to face it and stop it from having a negative impact on your lifeBirth of a baby
Anxiety Can Root From the Obsession With Technology
Are you so connected to your technology that it’s either causing anxiety or causing your anxiety to increase? For some, even the thought of not having a cellphone, tablet or computer nearby can trigger anxiety or feelings of paranoia.
A few signs that you might be obsessed with your connected technology are:
Constantly checking phone for instant messages and status updates.
Repeatedly checking email at very short intervals.
Feeling anxious when you don’t have your cellphone or computer access nearby, even if you’re away for only a short time (minutes to an hour).
Having difficulty sleeping because you’re concerned you’ll miss something.
In addition to worrying about “checking in”, an ever-increasing related source of anxiety comes from reading negative things about others, or yourself, which can trigger unwanted stress, anxiety, depression, and possibly lead to unsafe behaviors.
How to Manage Your Obsession with Technology
It’s crucial to allow yourself space from your cellphone, tablet or computer if you feel they’re taking time away from your personal positivity. It is also important to recognize how often you allow social media to impact you in negative ways. A quick swipe of the phone can lead you to a photograph that can bring back unexpected memories or a tweet with a negative message. By limiting time spent on those outlets, you will begin to recognize the amount of time you need to spend on them and the amount of time you don’t.
It’s IMPERATIVE to take a look at our own behaviors, as well as our children’s! These times are causing more issues in mental health well-being than ever before!! Our very WAY of socializing and communicating has changed drastically and it is NOT GOOD!
Read my book, Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death (due out in Fall 2014) for more info and what is going on!
Narcissism is a term used to describe a focus on the self and self-admiration that is taken to an extreme. The word “narcissism” comes from a Greek myth in which a handsome young man named Narcissus sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with it.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called “Cluster B” or “dramatic” personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and self-importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. However, these attitudes and behaviors do not reflect true self-confidence. Instead, the attitudes conceal a deep sense of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem. People with narcissistic personality disorders also often have a complete lack of empathy for others.
What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:
Are self-centered and boastful
Seek constant attention and admiration
Consider themselves better than others
Exaggerate their talents and achievements
Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
Are easily hurt but may not show it
Set unrealistic goals
May take advantage of others to achieve their goals
Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:
Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
Belief that he or she is “special” and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation
Arrogant behavior and/or attitude
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from a combination of factors that may include biological vulnerabilities, social interactions with early caregivers, and psychological factors that involve temperament and the ability to manage stresses. Some researchers believe that narcissistic personality disorder may be more likely to develop when children experience parenting styles that are excessively pampering, or when parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by adolescence or early adulthood when personality traits have become consolidated.
This information was taken from WebMD.com, a website millions of people go to for information on mental and physical problems in their lives, and it is relied on for its credibility. But….alas! There is no known cause or REASON for this increasing personality disorder and PROBLEM in America today! Why?
The medical field and psychiatric/psychological fields cannot or do not accept the TRUTH of its origin, and will NEVER report the reason for it even if they are aware! Why?
Statistics report that 1% of the American population have narcissistic personality disorder. However, that number cannot possibly be accurate because narcissists will NEVER seek treatment for their “problem,” or admit they even HAVE a “problem!” That is the nature of this beast! So how in the world do they come up with that figure?
Narcissism is one of the most searched terms on Google, and all other search engines today. Children and young adults today demonstrate narcissistic traits and tendencies more than ever before in history, reports are abundant, and many people, institutions, relationships, and our country in general are being destroyed by their self-centered behaviors, lack of empathy, care, and conscience every single day!
These slimy and slick “people” are so crafty at convincing others, be it a love-interest, employer, family member, or anyone who can offer them SOMETHING they can gain from, that most people never see it coming until it’s too late. That’s their “gift” and their victims’ “nightmare” to say the very least!
With the rise of such a social disease, medicine and psychology STILL cannot answer the question as to WHERE it comes from or WHY it happens!
My up-coming book, “Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death” offers a very daring, yet realistic REASON for this evil and its rise in America!
After two years of deep research and over twenty years personal experience as a psychotherapist, I have come up with a pliable, realistic and believable theory as to this plague’s causes and what to do to stop it!
I am not worried about critics, my colleagues, my profession or any others’ agreement or disagreement with my findings. My only concern is speaking the words I truly believe everyone needs to hear to do with what they choose!
Please visit my website at http://www.socialcideinfo.com or on Face Book at Socialcide: How America is Loving Itself to Death for more information and for its official release date (which should be in the Fall of this year, 2014).
Facts, experience, and dedication to TRUTH is what I offer.
Thanks for reading this post!